at Henley
(just after my last exam for 2007)

Yesterday’s melancholy was quite out of the ordinary. Thankfully the normal order of things has since been restored.

I feel small.

I know without doubt the soundness of the truth, yet I tempt myself with delusions of the salience of a lie. Where I should already be so confident and able, I strive to do well but fail consistently. I don’t trust myself any more; I risk so much for so little in return. And I feel no comfort because everything that remains can crumble in an instant.

I feel even smaller.

What do I want? Would I know that I had it, if indeed it was mine already?

Or perhaps I should ask, how much should be enough? And is that objectively or subjectively determined – for me to decide, or to be decided for me?

Alas, no answers are forthcoming…

I took some photos with a great SLR camera on the weekend.

Can you say Flickr?