randomfixation


retrospective

Posted in random on August 19, 2005 @ 4:38pm

Interesting how vividly the simple blog can depict such macabre moods as the previous entry. Rest assured, things always improve.

You know, some hold to the phrase “Never say never, always or forever.” I don’t. Negative concepts of eternity should certainly be curtailed, but always and forever have such optimistic potential.

The grief is moderated now, by simply forgetting the undesirable past and planning for an exciting future. Bring it on – forever is going to be fantastic.

M out.

grief

Posted in random on August 7, 2005 @ 10:57pm

It ranks as one of the worst kinds of feeling, just below regret and guilt.

Tonight I felt, for the first time I’d not denied, for real, the insidious realisation of a friend[ship] lost. Its history has been eventful, and such events took it in a starkly different direction to that which speculative hindsight would suggest it should go. How I wish that we’d – no, I’d – made better choices, waited for the passing of time to make all the minutiae clear. What a different world and worldview my friend and I would share.

So I rue the likeliness of our friendship’s future impossibility. I just miss my friend as she once was, and the friend she could have become.

alive!

Posted in random on July 29, 2005 @ 10:43am

Well, what a whirlwind! Granted, a month’s pause is the longest hiatus I’ve permitted for my auspicious online journal (is my readership’s lack of clamour due to its trepidation or its lack of number, I wonder?). Still, much excellent quality stuff has happened since.

Exams have taken place and I have been satisfied (while not actually impressed) with my results. Looking forward to a great semester focusing on the corporate side of Law and the strategic side of Management. Quite enjoyable subject matter, ay.

Finally I’m able to express myself musically on a live stage in a way that brings consummate joy to my soul. Behold, Roland RD-700sx! It’s a fabulous piece of tech and, in all seriousness, I’m so blessed to have it. Yours truly will review it on Harmony Central before long, so stay tuned. I’ve also been recording with my UA-25 from Edirol, and I’ll be getting my Gator case soon. The first produced work is a 30-second jingle, with triple cheese! Now I’m currently working on another track with a kind of laid back, house-breakbeat feel. Bring on the Wurly…

Getting real close to microfoam with my Carezza. A couple of latte rosettas had to become swirly hearts at the last moment, but the journey is part of the enjoyment. Never mind that every “failed” piece of visual art remains a sensory delight for the tastebuds.

With the right motivation and a generous serving of wonderment at the unknown, it is a superb time of life to be so alive. Keep smiling all.

many and varied

Posted in random on July 2, 2005 @ 2:28am

Sensitivity for the appropriate timing of considered deference is of paramount import for the leader. Considering his proper place is made easier when observing the contrast from the shadows.

Character is more desirable than beauty; tenacity more than vapid smalltalk; intelligence more than all riches.

Low expectations mean nothing less than selling out, despite the ease of apparently immediate results.

Just. Breathe.

inexplicable

Posted in random on June 8, 2005 @ 7:10pm

Maybe if Freud hadn’t tried to establish concepts as irrefutable laws, his views wouldn’t have been so resoundingly rejected. Perhaps guidelines would have been a better idea. There are certainly some zany ideas in there, but sometimes what he described falls very close to – and bears the marks of – truth. How unfortunate for us all if we are ever unconscious of our unconsciousness…

The difficulty, actually, lies in the inability to discern, comprehend and internalise the opposite viewpoint to an unequivocal conviction bearing no apparent rational justification. Basically, you don’t know why it is; it just is.

Perhaps (now thinking aloud) it has to do with repression. What if you don’t like the justification – or maybe your unconscious doesn’t like it, and preemptively blinds you to the elusive crux? It seems, then, that it would be quite dangerous (devastating?) to realise the truth. Or could it be that certain aspects of the opposite are desired quite strongly, and therefore you suffer the effects of a cognitive bias, perhaps while neglecting to recall the severity of vividly bitter empirical evidence?

Still, the highest form of truth, as the product of obedience, brings freedom.