vanilla
Actually, I feel nothing. Whatever momentary delusion I was under certainly doesn’t reflect any ongoing state of being. Must have been a glitch.
I could, of course, be angry. Recently I’ve been given plenty of reason to be viciously enraged. But I’m not. I could be annoyed senseless at certain people or things. There’s ample justification. …Nope, not. I could rail against the situations and circumstances, fly off the handle, be downright mean. Perhaps that would fix a few things. At least things would change.
There’s just nothing there. It’s easier not to feel them at all.
Vanilla is a flavour, after all…
on September 19th, 2007 at 9:52am
You say there’s nothing there, and on the same line say it’s easier not to feel them at all-implying that there is in fact something there, it is just easier not to feel them…
Whoever said easier was better?
on September 21st, 2007 at 8:50pm
I draw your attention to a – how should I put it – debate about dreams we had in the not overly distant past.
The same thing applies here, only you now sound like me; not good.
Yes, vanilla is a flavour, but try it with chocolate topping, and on the way you may find you like the feeling, ahm chocolate.
on October 4th, 2007 at 8:32am
Woah… I would almost be willing to pay to see you angry. I don`t think I`ve ever seen you in a state other than sad (harry`s funeral), chipperly (is that even a word?? is now!!) content, and rather joyful!!
The fact that you are not becoming angry is a credit to your decision making ability!! Life`s all about choices, as you would already know, and often some of us can make the wrong ones!!
thats a “doll-rocker”… (remember that?? hahaha…)
Skuba
on October 4th, 2007 at 4:08pm
Once again, Skubs, your fresh perspective is a great encouragement to me. Despite the fact that deciding not to unleash my rage was more of a self-preservation thing, I appreciate the concept that it was certainly a wise decision also.
Incidentally, the “doll-rocker” reminder made me grin widely – although I’m fuzzy on aspects of how it came to be…