Actually, I feel nothing. Whatever momentary delusion I was under certainly doesn’t reflect any ongoing state of being. Must have been a glitch.
I could, of course, be angry. Recently I’ve been given plenty of reason to be viciously enraged. But I’m not. I could be annoyed senseless at certain people or things. There’s ample justification. …Nope, not. I could rail against the situations and circumstances, fly off the handle, be downright mean. Perhaps that would fix a few things. At least things would change.
There’s just nothing there. It’s easier not to feel them at all.
Vanilla is a flavour, after all…
Its freedom curtailed no longer:
Long subdued, now burst free!
Eager optimism, unrestrained;
It is a peculiar grief to feel like you’ve lost something you never had;
to hope that all is not lost, and that not all hope is lost too…