Yesterday’s struggle wasn’t enough. It was useful to air a view but I don’t feel there was much resolution.  Perhaps tonight’s will have certain differences.

I railed against the struggle in the last 24 hours. I went out tonight and got some form of rest and relaxation, but it wasn’t fulfilling – it left me empty. I went to a lookout and surveyed the sleeping city’s flickering lights, but the clear sky and crisp air only served to emphasise my solitude. I was in two minds, then four, then none.

The feeling of emptiness is bizarre given how full my life really is. Ironically, it is full of certain things which don’t fill. And certain things which drain. The key point is that I need to do everything I can to avoid the drains. (For the record, I will state that one of those drains is caused by financial concerns – money.)

But I am alive, and the very life within me wills me to live. So I must live. If I am to really live, I must do so to the fullest extent possible. To do so I will choose to take delight in small pleasures and momentary joys. The fleeting can thereby become a motivation during the mundane.

Life is the certain difference.