Interesting how vividly the simple blog can depict such macabre moods as the previous entry. Rest assured, things always improve.
You know, some hold to the phrase “Never say never, always or forever.” I don’t. Negative concepts of eternity should certainly be curtailed, but always and forever have such optimistic potential.
The grief is moderated now, by simply forgetting the undesirable past and planning for an exciting future. Bring it on – forever is going to be fantastic.
It ranks as one of the worst kinds of feeling, just below regret and guilt.
Tonight I felt, for the first time I’d not denied, for real, the insidious realisation of a friend[ship] lost. Its history has been eventful, and such events took it in a starkly different direction to that which speculative hindsight would suggest it should go. How I wish that we’d – no, I’d – made better choices, waited for the passing of time to make all the minutiae clear. What a different world and worldview my friend and I would share.
So I rue the likeliness of our friendship’s future impossibility. I just miss my friend as she once was, and the friend she could have become.